Prides and Prejudices: The Tragedy of Genius -- A Note to the Readers

Sadly, we learn that the experiment is over. Prides and Prejudices, Monday 06 November 2006.

NOTICE TO THE READERS

Dearest Readers,

As has been grimly hinted at for some time, as of this date "Prides and Prejudices" will no longer claim or make effort to update daily.

This venture was launched to see whether there was a sufficient market for longer, humorous articles in the style I write them: After two months, some 60,000 words, and over one hundred illustrations, it seems the answer is no. While, on average, the site has attracted between 350-500 daily visitors, they are all so intelligent they don't care to have anything to do with either the Google contextual advertising or the Amazon Affiliate recommendations. The site's expenses are not many, but the writing and illustration requires considerable time and effort, and it does seem that the website should at least pay for itself, and a few new Magic Markers. Various suggestions regarding different merchandising and other promotional ideas have been put forward, but selling tee-shirts and coffee mugs of dubious merit is not reason enough for me to spend all of my evenings with pen in hand-- I could more profitably hawk such wares from a faux cart at the mall. . . . [continue]

Prides and Prejudices: The Tragedy of Genius -- Keira's Weekly Quiz!

Another Weekly Quiz, for the week of 30 October! Do you even remember that it was Hallowe'en a few days ago, let alone what insightful yet hilarious remarks were made about it on "Prides and Prejudices?" Find out! Prides and Prejudices, Friday 03 November 2006.

[on to the Quiz!]

Prides and Prejudices: The Tragedy of Genius -- Email from the Delightful Readers

Sorry this is a day late, but Blogger was down yesterday morning. Prides and Prejudices, Thursday 02 November 2006.

EMAIL FROM THE DELIGHTFUL READERS

Dear Miss Marilyn,

What do the following letters have in common?

A F J Y F B M E Q

Also, I work in the produce department of a supermarket and people are always asking me how they grow those little baby carrot thingies, and I don't know how to answer, so I just fall down. Are they hydroponic?

Mr H----- J----


Dear Supplicant Mr H-----,

Thanks for the red herrings, H--ie! You ought to work for the Defense Department!

Love, Keira

* * *

Dear Miss Halfpint,

For some years now, whenever I have verbally indicated my affection for my boyfriend he has responded with a lethargic, "Ditto." This was irritating enough for me to suspend physical relations with him, but, curiously, he has neither pressed the issue nor mended his apathetic ways.

To make matters worse, I was flipping through the crappier cable channels last Sunday afternoon while waiting for the noodle water to boil, and found myself watching an extremely predictable movie from a while back called "Ghost." Turns out, the bf lifted the "ditto" line! For all I know, he thinks all this "ditto" stuff is romantic and adorable. As I have implied throughout, he's no genius.

What am I supposed to do now? I am overweight.

Ms M---- P-------


Dear Supplicant Ms M----,

All things considered, you should probably give it some time!

Love, Keira . . . [continue]

Prides and Prejudices: The Tragedy of Genius -- Ranger Ricky on Opossums and Glass Frogs

Zounds! Another month, another Ranger Ricky! Prides and Prejudices, Wednesday 01 November 2006.

RANGER RICKY'S AMAZING ANIMALS

This Week: Fairly Pissy

When trying to determine what it is that's most objectionable about rats, it is easy to become fixated on their movements. Watching the athleticism and speed with which a rat furtively sneaks around in their hyper-vigilant way, performing wild leaps and ferocious acts of vandalism, is surely nauseating, but it's not the whole story-- not by a long shot. Were you to drug a rat with enough Quaaludes to slow them down to quarter-time and reduce their acrobatic skills to a clumsy shuffle, you would still not like looking at them. We know this as Fact because of opossums.

Opossums look pretty much like giant rats, with adults weighing in at about 6kg, which is about the same as my overly stout kitties. Besides their looks, another reason to lump opossums in with rats and cockroaches is their scavenging. Like rats, opossums will eat almost anything they can get into their mouths: insects, earthworms, fruits, seeds, frogs, snakes, mice, eggs, and even baby rabbits and squirrels. The opossums which live in urban areas are famous for knocking over garbage cans and rooting through the trash, as well as ravaging vegetable gardens. This lack of dietary discrimination seems to be the only explanation as to how opossums have survived for 200 million years, since they are surely one of the dumbest creatures in existence-- what else, besides stupidity, is there to explain humans spending half their lives fishing dead opossum bodies out of their swimming pools? . . . [continue]

Prides and Prejudices: The Tragedy of Genius -- A Tetra Cartoon: "Don't Let It Get You Down, Tet!"

The fortieth new page added to the site! And what could be a greater Treat for Hallowe'en than another bog, colorful Tetra cartoon? Do you not immediately see that Treat is an anagram of Tetra! Think about it! [continue on to the cartoon]

Prides and Prejudices: The Tragedy of Genius -- On Making an Original Hallowe'en Costume

Holy smokes, it's Hallowe'en! Let's pretend to be Topical. Prides and Prejudices, Monday 30 October 2006.

ON MAKING AN ORIGINAL HALLOWE'EN COSTUME

-- Keira's Guide to Artistic Expression in Pursuit of Candy --

Until relatively recently, Hallowe'en was a fun time for small children to play dress-up in cheap costumes and gorge themselves on commercial confectionary which might or might not contain peanuts or razor blades placed there by those seeking to kill them. At some point in early adolescence the desire for free candy was overtaken by the desire to not seem like babies wrapped in thin plastic super hero garb or hobo make-up, and these young adults resorted to performing anally aggressive pranks against householders, and stealing from their younger siblings. Adults didn't mess with Hallowe'en at all except to hand out loot and clean toilet paper from their bushes, unless they were the sort who also went in for orgies.

Concurrent with the mass abrogation of civic responsibilities and the infantilization of the culture begun under the Reagan administration, however, over the past two decades Hallowe'en has become the most popular of non-religious holidays among adults, taken as an excuse by those of all ages to make statements about their inner life through choice of costume. Leaving to the side for the moment the unnecessary addition of another artificial date upon which public drunkenness might be indulged, this Hallowe'en Boom should rightly be seen as representing a starving public's desire for some form of Personal Creativity and Self-Expression in their lives. As such, this ought to be encouraged, as a healthy release for minds too often trapped in unrewarding and repetitively dehumanizing work. Unfortunately, what we see in the Adult Hallowe'en is not a grand flowering of Originality, but that the general public has no talent for Art, or Artistic Thinking. . . . [continue]

Prides and Prejudices: The Tragedy of Genius -- Keira's Weekly Quiz!

Another week, another hilarious Quiz to see what you recall from the past week's Prides and Prejudices fun. Prides and Prejudices Quiz, Friday 27 October 2006. When we're done, are you going to make us play Trivial Pursuit, or can we just sit quietly, with our heads on our desks?

Prides and Prejudices: The Tragedy of Genius -- Another Letter from De Selby, 2015

Thirty-eight articles! Is it a novel, yet? Prides and Prejudices, Thursday 26 October 2006.

ANOTHER LETTER FROM DE SELBY, 2015

Mother, Most Dear,

How it pains and pulls at my heart to have to offer you my Goodnight Kisses by this horrid proxy of India ink and vellum-- There are truly salt tears rolling down my angelic face, yet I will bravely on, as I must. Would only that I were able to press your own sweet cheek to mine, and feel your honeyed kisses to my brow, and that I might feel your absence as only a secret fear instead of this cold and dreary reality. O, the constant brooding which has overtaken our House! What emptiness to be filled, and how poor we are, without you! What pleasures you give us, and in your goodness and generosity give us not only of yourself, but also the pleasure of showering you with praises-- and even the pleasure of the wonderful memories of you, in our tears.

I recount these tears not to torment you with the greatest sadness I have known in my own eight small years, but to inspire your speedy return to the warm bosom of your family-- While the Glorious Paper you are presenting at your Classical Archaeology Conference is undoubtedly a great honor (and yet another reason for us climb to the rooftops that we might crow and boast to the world of our familiarity), still, how we miss you! I know without qualification that your Paper will be received with adulation and awe, but will your scarf be sufficient to keep from your soft neck the Arctic winds of the City? Of course you could Knit yourself another in no time at all, but what if your needles were confiscated from your flight bag? Knowing of your competence answers each of my questions in turn, but still, it is my duty to fret for your comfort and well-being.

I report to you that the Captain is most devastated to be separated from your kind spirit, and has been unusually curt and officious with both the household staff and myself. Of course, he apologizes immediately, and all forgive his short bursts of bad temper under the circumstances, but what a soothing influence you are to his soul! At breakfast this morning he arched his eyebrow at me when I added a second helping of berries to my oatmeal; later in the morning, he questioned my understanding of nominative case; and then, just before lunch, he rather sarcastically referred to me as "Desi" when I commented upon his insipid use of Italian clichés. . . .[continue]